Cover photo for Robert M. Graves's Obituary
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1940 Robert 2023

Robert M. Graves

July 23, 1940 — October 14, 2023

Robert, lovingly known as Bob or Beau, was born July 23, 1940 in Santa Monica, California. He traveled cross country with his mother and two sisters on the train to live in New York, which is probably why he loved trains his entire life! He lived in several of the boroughs of New York until he turned eighteen and enlisted in the United States Air Force. He started his basic training on May 7, 1959 at Lackland Air Force Base in Amarillo, TX. He received training as a flight mechanic and a fire protection specialist. He was stationed at Dow AFB in Bangor, ME and served there for two years. His final assignment was at Suffolk AFB in Westhampton Beach, NY where he completed his active service on May 6, 1963. Bob married Barbara Ann Perkins in Port Jefferson, NY on November 26, 1961. They remained on Long Island, residing in Patchogue where together they raised three little boys, until Barbara's untimely death in February 1972. He was always grateful for her family's influence with the Town of Brookhaven Highway Department where he worked for the rest of his life as a heavy equipment operator, retiring in 1996 due to a work related injury. While living in Patchogue, Bob joined the North Patchogue Fire Department as a volunteer fireman, served as a Lieutenant, captain of the NiteCaps Drill Team and was a vital component of developing the NPFD Ambulance Company. He ruffled a few feathers (which he was known to do now and then) by sponsoring the first woman to join the department. He remained a lifetime member until his death. One of Bob's last requests, the day before he passed, was to call several of his fellow fire fighters, to catch up on things. On July 21, 1974, only six short weeks after meeting the girl of his dreams, as he used to tell everyone, Bob married Elaine Oles Lollar. They lived in Elaine's childhood home until May 22, 1995. Together they raised four wonderful and successful men. His family was everything to him and his sons were the dearest things to his heart. He was known as "Unk" to his nieces and nephews, "Poppy" or grandpa to his grandchildren and great-grandchildren and friend to everyone that he met. Having nine people around the dinner table was a common occurrence because the door to their home was open to everyone. Parenting and taking care of loved ones was common place for Bob and Elaine. Bob loved to hunt in the beautiful Adirondack Mountains in NY and casting his surf rod into the breaking tide of the Atlantic Ocean at Smith's Point. Camping was their favorite getaway, going anywhere from NY to OK, TX, TN, and everywhere in between. However, peaceful, ocean camping was Bob's favorite, returning often to the Fire Island shoreline of South Hampton where the "not so rich and famous" vacationed. When he was injured at work, he started dreaming of a little piece of heaven where he could retire. He found that in Maryville, where he visited family often. The view from Sevierville Road kept drawing him back and after seeing only two houses, he found his peaceful side of the Smokies where he remained for the rest of his life. Bob found the perfect little church for his family while riding his motorcycle through the Meadow community , twenty-seven years ago, where they have been members ever since. They were embraced, loved and accepted right from the start even though they were Yankees! Piloting his pontoon boat, fishing, swimming and picnicking anywhere on or near the Tennessee River became his peace. The joy in his life slowly faded away as his physical body no longer responded to the things that he enjoyed so much. He became tired and God knew where he would finally find the peace he longed for. Before sunrise on the morning of October 14th his spirit slipped away from his earthly body and was drawn to heaven with the warmth of the beautiful sun where he surely has found the peace that he dearly deserved. He was loved so much and all of us that remain here grieve only for ourselves because we know that he won, maybe he took second place, his buddy took first according to him, but he is where he is whole and free. He has found release at last....

Following his wishes there will be no visitation or services. He wished to be cremated and have his ashes scattered to the wind over the Tennessee River, Adirondack Mountains and along the Fire Island Seashore. Bob was predeceased by: first wife Barbara Graves, mother, Louise Graves, sister, Patricia Fox, son, Scott Graves, grandson, Michael Graves, mother-in-law, Etna Oles, father-in-law, Louis Oles, brother—in-law, Dale Oles, nephew, James Di Nicola and daughter-in-law Angela Graves. Bob is survived by: his wife of 49 years, Elaine Graves; sons, Glenn Graves and family, Matthew Graves and Wayne Graves; sisters, Marjorie Ewing, Judy Graves and brother, Edward Graves; grandchildren; Crystal McGarr, Adam Graves, Corey Graves, Cody Graves, Joel Graves, Madison Nelson, Jessica Zabilski, Michael Yodice; great grandchildren; Mykah Graves; nieces Renee, Noreen, Deb, Darlene: nephews; Danny Fox, Rich, Andy, Dan Oles; special loved ones; Phoenix, Rhianna, Emma, Jason and Mary.


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